“So, abandoned coffee mug, tell me: how does it feel to be abandoned?”
“To be honest? Empty. I feel empty, rejected, and sad.”
“That's sort of ironic, isn't it? For you to feel empty, and you ARE empty?”
“Yeah, I guess so. People forget that my life has purpose: to house beverages in an environmentally friendly way. Having no coffee inside me is…well…empty!”
“I see. And backpack—do you feel empty, too?”
“No, I'm angry. Furious! Why would someone leave me overnight in a library? I mean, I'm very durable. I have cushioned straps. I have convenient compartments and pockets. Heck…I even feature a special slot for a water bottle! Why would someone just abandon me?”
“Maybe you were too heavy to carry across campus?”
“Whatever. Maybe she shouldn't cram me so tight, then!”
“I'd like to ask both of you this question: what is the worst part of being abandoned in the music library? Coffee mug—we'll start with you.”
“Probably being forced to sit on the entryway carpet next to the sensor machinery. The carpet isn't nearly as sleek as a tabletop. And that sensor gives off a really annoying high-pitched sound that drives me crazy. I just wish my student would claim me and take me home.”
“And you, backpack?”
“Hands down, it's the cell phone. It keeps going off inside me, but no one is here to answer it. Everyone just stares at me like it's my fault. But it's not my fault! I didn't leave myself here, you know. I'd also like to point out that there's no way I'd EVER choose an Avril Lavigne ringtone. LAAAAAAME”
“Well, abandoned backpack and coffee mug, I wish you each the best of luck in being reclaimed by your owners.”
