It was high noon. Pen? Check. Notebook? Check. Camera? Check. I was ready. It would be challenging and dangerous, a journey to the center of the universe, at least in Sam Donaldson's mind. Yes, I was headed towards ABCs studios to hear and meet the big wig of all media big wigs: Sam Donaldson. His wig is truly unparalleled. Fellow Ole Pete Cox and I were excited as we walked into ABC's building. Two security guards greeted us with frowns, letting us know that there is no place for joy and excitement in the world of powerful, glamorous media types. It was time to be=85.egads=85.adults! We quickly adapted to the environment and began frowning and talking in low, serious voices. Some people walked by and saluted us. It was working. We sat down and waited for our classmates to arrive. VIPs wearing Armani suits and carrying Italian leather briefcases passed by in front of us. Cokie Roberts came in from lunch break with a small entourage and looked at us. We pretended to be unaffected by her entrance. Of course this is like sitting next to the president at a party and then turning towards him and saying, =93Oh, Mr. President. Didn't realize you were there. I had always expected Cokie Roberts to be kind of snobby. I was surprised to find out that I was wrong. She is VERY snobby. Cokie squinted, frowned at us, and did just about every other thing you could do to tell someone you don=92t like them except for firing a gun in our direction. I actually thought she might flip us off, but instead she walked off. I checked my armpits, but I had indeed showered that morning. It must have been someone else.

After a while Sam Donaldson's assistant, Gloria, came down to meet us. She took us upstairs to what I assumed was his floor. I hope to one day have my own office =93room=94 wherever I work. Sam Donaldson is unhappy if he doesn't have his own floor. I could be wrong though. Maybe the whole building was his. Anyway, Gloria seated us around a large meeting table. Gloria is 24. While we waited she told us about how she had come into being Donaldson's assistant. She didn't tell us in certain words that she didn't really like him, but I will translate what she said for you:

Gloria: Each day brings new challenges when you work for Sam Donaldson.

Translation: Sam Donaldson makes each and every day a living hell for me.

Gloria: Unfortunately, my time here as Sam's assistant will be up in June.

Translation: I am counting the days until I move on.

Gloria talked for a while and then Sam Donaldson came in. For the next hour and a half he talked. Without stopping. Oh wait, he did stop once. He lost his train of thought and pointed at me. Here is a transcript of the next few seconds:

Second 1:

Sam Donaldson (pointing at me): You, where was I?

Seconds 2, 3, 4, 5:

Me (panicking): well, you see, I think you, well...

Thankfully before I could complete my thought by saying, "I have no idea because you have been talking for an hour and a half and I find your wig to be more fascinating right now," the girl next to me saved me and told him where he had left off.

He went on talking. And then he talked some more. When he was done, those of us with cameras had our pictures taken with him. I have that picture on my website, Sam and I smiling back at the camera. My face is bright and shiny, probably from those five sweaty seconds when he pointed at me. Sam's painted face and wig are the most fascinating things in that picture though. In the end Mr. Donaldson proved to be a very smart man. You don't have to like him, but you should respect his intelligence. It's just too bad he doesn't use it when he is picking out a wig.