For the past dozen years or so, my 87-year-old father-in-law has told me countless times about how he and fellow students took a bucket of oats and led a horse into the one-room schoolhouse. Or about the time he released a skunk in the room to avoid class for a week. The look on his face never changes when he tells these stories. It is the proud look of mischief.

No one wants to be classified as a "trouble maker" as a student, but since long ago students have from time to time created problems for their teachers to handle. Recently, I discovered in the archives a document created by five education majors in 1922. These students addressed five major problems as they saw them nearly 80 years ago: gum chewing; sassiness and profanity; tardiness, absences, and skipping; whispering and note sending; and "throwing" in the school room.

The following are from the 1922 paper:

Gum chewing:

"Some form of punishment is necessary, and one of the effective forms seems to be that of humiliating the offender in some way."

"Šmade him take the gum out of his mouth, then bade everyone to stop working for five minutes while the offender stood in front of the class with gum stuck on his nose. This treatment had the desired effect for it was a humiliating experience which no other person wished to have, and there was no more gum chewing in class."

"Gum chewing is an annoyance which must be forbidden because it makes for a general lowering of discipline and lack of proper thought atmosphere."

[I love that final "proper thought atmosphere"Šhopefully today our classrooms are free of chewers and full of thought. Humiliating another seems to be the method preferred by 9 out of 10 teachers at that timeŠread on.]

Whispering and note-sending:

"Whispering and note sending are offences of misdirected energy, both physical and mental."

"In one high school when anyone whispered he was requested to come before the room and say, "Quack, quack."

"One unique way of punishing for whispering was exercisedŠthe offender had to come up in front of the pupils and kneel down on some kernels of pop-corn. He was requested to remain in just such a position for a length of timeŠ"

The following are what several current faculty members had to say about student "problems":

Tardiness:

"My favorite Œproblem' involved a student who waltzed into class several years ago wearing only a pair of shorts. That's right: no shoes, no shirt, no backpack, not even a pen and paper to take notes. He did this, naturally, towards the end of the spring semester on a beautiful, balmy spring day. The most striking aspect of this student's grand entrance, however, was that it was a full 15 minutes after class had begun. I was already deeply in discussion with the class when the door opened and, well, there he was.

"He walked in and took a seat in the back of the room (his usual place) with a cocky swagger. Frankly, I think he might have been stoned. A couple of weeks later, on the day of the final exam, I found on my desk a Œgift' from this same student. The gift turned out to be a bottle of cheap Kentucky bourbon with a note attached that went something like, ŒI'll bet you could use this right about now.' Because the student left immediately after the exam, I never got a chance to thank him for the gift--and to ask him exactly what he meant by it. My guess--or at least my hope--is that the gift was a kind of apology from the student for being such a Œschool problem.'"

Gum-Chewing (or in this case another kind of chew):

"I was shocked a couple of years ago to notice a student chewing tobacco and spitting into a pop can. That and sitting in the front row reading a newspaper have to be my top irritations!"

Sassiness?

"The most egregious behavior I have experienced in four decades of teaching involved a student's rude reaction in class when I was handing back corrected mid-term exams. Upon receiving his, an ŒF,' he noisily crumpled it up and threw it in he waste basket as he stomped out the door! Frankly, I was so appalled I could only react with incredulity."

"Šseveral times, a student would dispute a grade and become agitated and even somewhat threatening when I found no evidence to change it. In exasperation I said, ŒIt takes two students to pay my salary, and you aren't either one of them!' "

I wonder what the problems will be in 2033? For the time being, enjoy being a student and behave in class or perhaps your professor will make you kneel on a pile of kernels. The College Archives are open Monday through Friday, 8:30 to 12:30. Feel free to stop by and discover.