Whether you live a "crazy life" like Mr. Ricky Martin, or whether you live the bumpy life of a busy St. Olaf first year student, the fact is you live your life. The things you do in a day, the classes you (should) attend, the homework you (should) do, the meetings, the co-curricular activities, the sports, and the social life; all that college now demands of you is the life that you now live.

Then there is that whole other world that goes beyond being a student at St. Olaf College. There's the family, the job (if you have one), the steps towards your career aspirations, the time that you should devote to yourself and, let's all be honest here, the time to play (you know, when you don't quite feel like being student), which are also parts of your life and the way you live.

This summer I had a full time office job. I was an "Administrative Assistant". What made it even better was that I had an official and more specific title: "Coordinator of Special Projects." Nice, huh? I composed memos, made copies, wrote e-mails, did filing, stuffed envelopes, performed many "clerical support" tasks (that's answering phones and being a receptionist more or less) and took minutes at meetings where the topics had nothing to do with "special projects"--and that's all just what I did in between coordinating special projects. I worked directly with the Director of Business Operations on special projects that she had little time for. I initiated mileage forms, and helped structure main office activity (i.e. postage procedures). I also made new office forms and helped raise issues of safety awareness within the agency.

That was what I did all summer everyday from 7 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. with a half hour unpaid lunch period. When the clock struck 3:30, I filled my afternoon with activities and errands. My days usually ended at 9:00 p.m. when I would get home and settle down and ready myself to do it all over again in a few hours.

When August came around, I got a letter from St. Olaf asking me to come back early to begin work at the Buntrock Commons, where I work now. So I put in my final notice at the summer job allowing me to have a week to get ready before I came back to campus on Friday, September 1st. I thought, "Hey this is supposed to be my week off and I will not overwhelm myself by taking too much on. Since today is only the first day, I think I'll just relax."

When that last Friday at work came I was ecstatic. I was free and I thought I was going to have the best week off of my life. Six o'clock Monday morning, the alarm clock is ringing in my ear. I drag myself out of bed and head to my bathroom to get ready for work. I had partied way too much all weekend long and now I was paying for it. I stared into the mirror wondering why I had partied so much. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that my last day of work was last Friday, so I could go back to sleep. Or so I thought. I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I laid there wide awake staring at the ceiling, thoughts rampantly running through my mind. I got up. In no time I found myself trying to do "stuff" like making lists of what to take to school with me and what to buy. I tried to arrange and begin packing my things. I wrote down names of people I had to call in order to handle certain arrangements. I went through my clothes. I went through my shoes. I looked for boxes. I thought about things I would need in my room. I had done so much mental planning that I was now getting overwhelmed. I told myself that I had a whole week to do this and I didn't need to do it all by today.

I found myself snacking on the couch watching Jenny Jones and Ricki Lake surrounded by my boxes and various legal pads of lists and other important information. By midday not much had changed but I was growing restless, even drowsy. I thought I would get back into my preparations, but even that got boring.

It was only 1:30 p.m. on day one of my week off and I was pigging out at home in the world's now messiest living room, sitting on the couch and flipping between tabloid television, infomercials, the animal channel, and the occasional soap opera.

This was not what I had envisioned. I was so bored that I didn't even want to do anything. Since I was not working and my car was being used by my sister, I found myself for the first time this entire summer without anything to do, as I had always wanted, but when the actual conditions came into play, I was lost.

Come Tuesday I was still getting up at 6 a.m. even though I would stay up until one or two o'clock in the morning. I was still stuck in my routine that had developed all summer from work filling up my day. Working all summer required that I make up a routine for myself. I had to get up at six to be ready to be in my office by seven. I had to be out by 3:30 to take care of errands in the afternoon. I had to plan gym time, shopping time, and hanging out with friends time. I had to be back home at least by nine so that I could get to sleep to be ready for the next day. I had structure in my life. I had things to do. I was not bored.

Against that kind of busy life, I longed for a life where I had nothing to do. No engagements to tend to, no errands, no boring meetings, and no cramming a social life into afternoons and the weekend. When I actually got the life I wanted I felt paralyzed, like I needed something to do; a routine to follow or tasks to take care of. I didn't know how to handle just doing nothing.

That's when it dawned on me. I know that this philosophy was not born from me, but it now made more sense to me and I felt a deeper connection to it for my own personal reasons. "Life is what you make of it."

I chose to fill up my summer days with a busy work schedule around which I had to balance my life. I created that structure, the routines and schedules in order to make what could have been a chaotic three months into day by day activities. I chose to do this and once I set my summer in stone, I could not deviate from my decisions.

On that Monday when I found myself with way too many options at my hands, I didn't know where to begin. I'm not even sure if I wanted to do anything, since I didn't know what I wanted to do. Everything that I had been doing I had chosen to do. Again, I had to choose to do things within that last week at home in order to be ready by Thursday night to get back to campus Friday morning. No one was going to just knock on my door and handle arrangements for me or pack up my boxes for me. No one was going to plan anything for me or do it all for me.

In this same way, nothing is just going to walk in to your life and give you options. Your life is what you make of it. You need to get out there and take advantage of the opportunities and choices that exist before you. You should fill up your days with activities that give you balance in your life, only choosing to do what you can do.

Did you sign up for anything at the co-curricular extravaganza? Do you have an aching itch to do something of interest to you? Do you want to get a jumpstart on your career? Or perhaps, do you just want to vegetate and walk to "that" building for "that" class every once in a while.

Never pass up on an opportunity to do what you like. If there isn't already someone or some organization doing it, then why not start it up on your own? Chances are, you might not be the only one.

Your life is what you make of it. Never think that outside factors completely control how you live your life. If you don't like how your life is now, then make those changes. Ultimately, you make your own decisions, so if you want it, go on and live your life!