SARN Home > Education > Red Flags
Red flags
You may be in an abusive relationship if your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, friend, parent, relative, or partner has done any of the following:
- Withheld approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
- Ignored your feelings regularly
- Ridiculed or insulted your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, class or sexual preference
- Been very jealous and/or harassed you about imagined affairs
- Manipulated you with lies
- Insisted you dress the way he/she wants
- Humiliated you in private or in public
- Insulted or driven away your friends or family
- Subjected you to reckless driving
- Thrown objects at you
- Abused pets to hurt you
- Punched, shoved, slapped, bit, kicked, choked or hit you
- Raped you or subjected you to other violent or degrading nonconsensual acts
- Threatened to commit suicide if you leave
- Questions/controls/restricts you on where you go and/or who you see
- Blame is placed on you in all arguments and problems
- Accuses you of things you haven't said or done
- Tells you or makes you feel that nothing you do or say is “good enough”
- Nags you or forces you to be sexually active when you don't want to be
- Spreads rumors/threatening rumors about you
- Constantly puts down you, your family and your friends
- Destroys property, is physically aggressive, has extreme mood swings, grabs you, and/or abuses alcohol and/or illegal drugs
- YOUR PARTNER MAKES YOU FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY AND/OR YOUR FRIENDS ARE SCARED FOR YOU