Following are many ideas to help people who are mourning a loved one's death. Treat this list for what it is: a gathering of assorted suggestions that various people have tried with success. Perhaps what helped them through their grief will help you. The emphasis here is upon specific, practical ideas.

Talk regularly with a friend--Talking with another about what you think and feel is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Walk--Go for walks outside every day if you can. If you like, walk with another.

Visit the grave--Not all people prefer to do this. But if it feels right to you, then do so. Don't let others convince you this is a morbid thing to do. Spend whatever time feels right there.

Create a memory book--Compile photographs which document your loved one's life. Arrange them into some sort of order so they tell a story. Go through it and reminisce as you do so.

Light a candle at mealtime--Especially if you eat alone, but even if you don't, consider lighting a taper at the table in memory of your loved one. Pause to remember them as you light it.

Carry or wear a linking object--Carry something in your pocket or purse that reminds you of the one who died.

Create a memory area at home--In a space that feels appropriate, arrange a small table that honors the person: a framed photograph or two, perhaps a prized possession or award, or something they created, or something they loved.

Plant something living as a memorial--Plant a flower, a bush, or a tree in memory of the one who died. If you do this planting where you live, you can watch it grow and change day by day, season by season. You can even make it a part of special times of remembrance in the future.

Purchase something soft to sleep with--A teddy bear is a favorite choice for some. Select something that feels warm and cuddly. Then, whatever your age, cuddle it.

If you're alone, and if you like animals, get a pet--The attention and affection a pet provides may help you adapt to the loss of the attention and affection you're experiencing after this significant person has died.

Invite someone to be your telephone buddy--If your grief and sadness hit you especially hard at times and you have no one nearby to turn to, ask someone you trust to be your telephone buddy. Ask their permission for you to call them whenever you feel you're at loose ends, day or night.

Tell people what helps you and what doesn't--People around you may not understand what you need. So tell them. People can't read your mind, so you'll have to speak it.

Avoid certain people if you must--No one likes to be unfriendly or cold. But if there are people in your life who make it very difficult for you to do your grieving, then do what you can to stay out of their way.

Change some things--As soon as it seems right, alter some things in your home to make clear this significant change that has occurred. This does not mean to remove all signs of the one who died. It does mean not treating your home or your loved one's room as a shrine which cannot be altered in any way.

Plan ahead for special days--Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other special events can be difficult times, especially for the first year or two. Give thought beforehand to how you would handle those days. Do things a little differently than you used to, as a way of acknowledging this change in your life. But also be sure to invoke that person's presence and memory somehow during the day.

Donate their possessions meaningfully--Whether you give your loved one's personal possessions to someone you know or to a stranger, find ways to pass these things along so that others might benefit from them. Family members or friends might like to receive keepsakes. Some wish to do this quickly following the death, while others wish to wait awhile.

Allow yourself to laugh--Sometimes something funny will happen to you, just like it used to. You won't be desecrating your loved one's memory. You'll be consecrating their love of life, and your own, too.

Allow yourself to cry--Crying goes naturally with grief. It may feel awkward to you, but this is not unusual for a person in your situation. A good rule of thumb is this: if you feel like crying, then cry. If not, then don't.

Plan at least one thing you'll do each day--Even if your grief is very painful and your energy very low, plan to complete at least one thing each day, even if it's a small thing. Then follow through with your plan, day after day.

Journal--Write out your thoughts and feelings. Do this whenever you feel the urge, but do it at least several times a week, if not several times a day.

Write the person who died--Write letters or other messages to your loved one, thoughts you wish you could express if they were present.

Rest-Grieving is hard work--Give yourself plenty of permission to take things easy.

Consider a support group--Spending time with a small group of people who have undergone a similar life experience can be very therapeutic. You can discover how natural your feelings are.

Speak to a clergyperson--If you're searching for answers to the larger questions about life and death, religion and spirituality, consider talking with a representative of your faith, or even another's faith.

Connect on the Internet--If you're computer savvy, search the Internet. You'll find many resources for people in grief, as well as the opportunity to chat with fellow grievers.

Read how others have responded to a loved one's death--You may feel that your own grief is all you can handle. But if you'd like to look at the ways others have done it, try C. S. Lewis's A Grief Observed, Lynn Caine's Widow, John Bramblett's When Good-Bye Is Forever, or Nicholas Wolterstorff's Lament for a Son. There are many others. Check with a counselor or a librarian.

Learn about your loved one from others--Listen to the stories others have to tell about the one who died, both stories you're familiar with and those you've never heard before. Celebrate your time together.

Vent your anger rather than hold it in--You may feel awkward being angry when you're grieving, but anger is a common reaction. Even if you feel a bit ashamed as you do it, find ways to get it out of your system. Yell, even if it's in an empty house. Cry. Hit something soft. Resist the temptation to be proper.

Give thanks every day--Whatever has happened to you, you still have things to be thankful for. Perhaps it's your memories, your remaining family, your support, your work, your own health-all sorts of things.

Source: http://www.willowgreen.com:80/cust_AdviceDisplay.asp?TextTypeID=31&List=Grief

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